Happy Go Lucky

Being a longtime journal writer and a blogger, I regret that I haven't been documenting my pregnancy. Well, first of all, I was too afraid to write anything down. I don't want to jinx anything. I actually kept my pregnancy a secret for a long time. I didn't even tell my family until when I was 12 weeks along. Having suffered a miscarriage before, I don't want to get "too happy" and then be disappointed along the way. But now that I've passed my 1st trimester, I should not stress about everything and I guess it's still not too late to write....

I refused to take a home pregnancy test for the longest time because I didn't want to get disappointed again. But I tested the very morning before my flight to Paris on Oct 10. I got one of those digital tests and the result came back "Pregnant." I was scared and in disbelief. After so many negative test results in the past, I was shocked. Digital tests are more black and white, not like those with pink lines that are always open to interpretation, but they can still be wrong, right?? I boarded the plane, in denial. I had menstrual-like cramps all week so there was no way that I was pregnant!

I had a 2-hour lay-over in Chicago O'Hare airport and decided to stop by a McDonalds to get something to eat. I ordered a Happy Meal. The cashier said, "Boy or Girl?" When I first heard that, I was like..."WTH??" Does she know something?? How did she know that I was pregnant??!? I stood still. She repeated, "Boy or Girl? I responded, "It doesn't matter," without really understanding what and why she was asking. After my response, she then stuck a green little toy into the paper bag. Ooooooh.. so she was asking what toy I wanted (totally spaced out that I ordered a Happy Meal that comes with a toy....)!

Inside the bag, besides my Happy Meal, was a tiny Build-a-Bear stuffed animal. It was a green froggie. The label on the toy read, "Happy Go Lucky." I smiled to myself. My baby will be Happy Go Lucky. It's a sign. My froggie stayed with me throughout my whole Paris trip and continues to be my side. I'm saving the froggie for my baby. It will be baby's first toy. :)