Friday, December 10, 2010

Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety - not Sarah but me Sarah will be going to daycare starting next week. A wave of emotions is hitting me and hitting me hard. I never knew that I would actually enjoy staying home and being with Sarah full time.  If you ask me a few months ago, I was so sure that I would rather go to to work. I could never be a stay-at-home mom...so I thought. But these couple of months drastically changed my mentality. Now I understand why mothers leave their jobs to stay home to take care of their kids. I would do it too if I could.  It's special. Spending time with Sarah is absolutely precious and I enjoy every second of it!!   

When I go back to work, I will surely miss our daily walks and outings. We had our routine down to the tee. I could read her like a book. I know when she's hungry, when she's full, when she's sleepy, and when she needs a diaper change... So sad just thinking about how Sarah and I will be separated during the day starting next week.  I spent this week preparing her bag for daycare - diapers, wipes, extra clothes, etc. And each time I add something to the bag, I pause to think about how she will do in daycare. Will the caregivers know all her little quirks and habits?  Will they know that Sarah speaks through her eyes when she needs to poo?  Will they know that she babbles for a good 5 minutes before she falls asleep?  Will they know that she loves looking out the window?  That she loves to hear mommy sing?  *sniff* *sniff* (Uncontrollable waterworks!!)

I bet it's those darn hormones taking the best out of me right now.  I know that I will still see her in the morning and at night, and during the weekends - so I will still get to spend lots of time with her - for the rest of my life! Don't grow up too fast my sweet baby. Wait for mommy!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. We all go through this. Just remember, she will do fine. Babies are a lot more resilient that we think. Just focus on yourself. The toughest part for me is not being at work...because I stay busy at work and don't have much time to think about my baby...the worst is the commute home and the anticipation of seeing your baby again. So bitter sweet.
-Linda