D-Day (aka Decision Day)

After 2 months to the exact day since the announcement, I have finally given my verbal acceptance to the relocation offer.  Our family will be relocating to Hong Kong end of July.  Believe me when I say that this is one of the hardest decisions I had to make thus far in my 36 years of life.  I contemplated and internally debated with myself for a long, long time.  I had many discussions and tearful conversations with SQ - what it would mean for us and how it would affect our family.  My emotional roller coaster went through valleys and peaks, crests and troughs.

Most recently, my sister 7 was faced with a dilemma whether or not to throw a full-blown wedding. I remembered my sister 5 asked her, if she ends up not having a wedding, whether she would, a few years down the road, regret her decision & want one then. If the answer is yes, then, even though the wedding may not be something sister 7 wants now, she should still hold one to avoid being regretful in the years to come.  Because if the time has passed, it would be hard to get it back. As when I faced this relocation dilemma, I also asked myself whether I would regret not going later on if I do decide to turn the offer down now?  Would I wonder about how my life would be if we lived in HKG and would I continually ask myself the "what-ifs?"  After answering the questions with a yes, I felt better about taking this leap. There will surely be a lot of uncertainty, changes, and/or even risks.  But I can't possibly worry about all the future problems now, right?  I will get there when I get there, one day at a time. Que Sera Sera  

Financial-wise, we can make it work with one income for a while.  Living adaptation-wise, it'll probably will take some time, but we're not hard to please, so we'll eventually get used to it.  Sarah-wise, she should be ok. SQ will stay home with her for a bit.  Extended family-wise, not OK.  I think this is by far the biggest pull for me not to relocate.  I am super close to my parents and my sisters, both in terms of relationship and physical locality (most of us live no more than 20 minutes apart).  They have always been my strength, my backbone, my "go-to" people for help on anything, to watch over Sarah, to seek advice from, to vent to, to care about, and to laugh with.  So this will be hard.  Very hard.  So I am not going to lie to myself that this part of my life will be OK, because it won't be, not without my family being nearby.  The only comfort to this situation is my hope that they will come visit me and we will return back to the U.S. as often as we can.  And hopefully, my parents will learn how to use Skype!  The other comfort I have to console myself is that this relocation is not forever. The contract is "at-will."  There is no time frame commitment.  If I choose to leave within 1 year, I just have to pay back some of the relocation costs (pro-rated based on time spent abroad). I figure, if my life really is so miserable to the point that I must return, then the relocation costs is actually a small price to pay for happiness.  SF will always be my home.

Now that the decision has been made, I need to move forward.  I need to direct my focus of what needs to be done before the relocation.  Time will zoom by. And I am prepared to have breakdown moments when the day comes closer.  Bear with me.  Be my support and tell me that everything is going to be OK. Que Sera Sera