Someone woke me up and I'm not happy about it!

My little Sarah

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping

While you're far away and dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment forever

Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream would never do

I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating

And I'm wondering what you're dreaming

Wondering if it's me you're seeing

Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together

I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream would never do

I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing

A Tribute to my Husband

I met SQ 10 years ago through a mutual friend. After dating him for less than 3 months, I knew, in my heart, that I wanted to marry him. You might think it's silly or outright impossible, but I just knew he would make the perfect husband. SQ is not, and never was, your typical romantic boyfriend who sweeps girls off their feet with flowers and sweet words. In fact, he rarely says "I love you," to me, buys me flowers, or plans any special night outs. Sometimes I get so angry and disappointed because he didn't do any of the things I wished he would have done. I ended up consoling myself that SQ is a "practical" type of guy and he's not into any of the "surface" things....

During this past month, when I got really sick, I was reminded why I married SQ in the first place. During the 24 days I spent in the hospital, SQ stayed with me 24/7. When I was in the ICU, he slept on a chair just so he can stay overnight in the room with me. He tended to my every need, watching over me, making me comfortable, encouraging me to stay strong. As much pain and suffering I was going through, I'm sure he felt it equally.

After my discharge from the hospital, SQ is balancing between being a husband and a father. He has been taking care of Sarah day and night - feedings around the clock, diaper changes, bath time...the whole 9 yards. In addition, he has been doing laundry, taking out the trash, and all the little chores around the house! I have never heard him once complain about being tired or sleepy, or the fact that he has to do everything. I feel guilty and helpless because all I can do is to watch him do the work. But all SQ wanted from me was for me to get better and smile.

To my SQ - I know you're not good at expressing your feelings, but I know. I know how much you care about me, how much you love me and Sarah. You have shown us what unconditional love is, through your actions, not through words. I promise that everything will get better and we will enjoy our days ahead. Love you with all my heart!

Reset and Restart

I return today to this blog with a month elapsed, a month gone in a time warp - days I try hard not to remember. The only thing I do want to remember is that I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on June 5 at 10:03am. Her name is Sarah Kay Quach. Born via c-section 5 lbs 9 oz, 19 inches.

She is the cutest little baby ever. So delicate yet so fiesty. She is the joy of my life.

Unfortunately, my time with Sarah after her birth was short. I was admitted to the hospital for post-partum infection 8 days after her birth. When I went to the ER on 6/13, I had no idea that I would end up staying in the hospital for the next 24 days. 3 nights in the ICU, 7 CT scans, no-food-no-liquid diets for days, drains, non-stop fevers... the pain and suffering went on. I saw Sarah only 2 times during this period. Each day I tell myself that I need to stay strong but each day new complications arise. I broke down many times. These are the days I want to forget and leave behind.

I was finally released from the hospital 7/7. I thought this day would never come but it finally did. There was a sense of euphoria when I first stepped into my own home after so many days of being gone. I can't really explain it but it was so nice to be home. I know that I still have ways to go in recovery, but it was still just nice to be home. Sarah came home the next day. That night, I gave Sean and Sarah a big hug. Our small family of 3 was finally together once again. The past month has been a "wash," so now we are resetting and restarting our time together.