9/11 Tenth Year Anniversary

Today is the tenth year anniversary of Sept 11. It is one of those events and moment in time where you would always remember where you were and what you were doing when you first heard the news broke out.

I was still living at my parents' house at that time. My sister who lived in Castro Valley called our house around 7:30 am and told us to immediately turn on the TV. The images from the TV are still so fresh in my mind. The news kept on playing and replaying the airplane flying into the 2nd tower. It looked like a scene out of the movies. I called SQ who lived in Berkeley to turn on the TV too.

The magnitude of the event didn't even register on me at that point. I was naive enough to take the bus with my sister to downtown for work. A lot of people on the bus were talking about the attack.

When I got to my building lobby, one of my office facility managers told me to go home. No work today. So I went home. All this time I didn't understand why SF was so on edge since the event happened in NY.

It was only when I got home and began to be glued to the TV did I realize what all this meant.

A truly sad day in American History. A day we will never forget. A day that has changed our lives forever.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

June 13

2 things of significance : June 13 was Sarah's original due date but she arrived 8 days early.  June 13 was also the day I checked back into the hospital with a 103 fever and diarrhea. I went into the ER thinking that they will give me some anti-diarrhea medicine and some Tylenol for my fever and I would go back home in a few hours, but I was wrong. I ended up staying in the hospital for the next 24 days.  The doctors thought I had C-difficil, which is a type of infection when the antibiotics kill not only the bad bacteria but the good ones too.  after a couple days of stool samples, C-dif wasn't the problem. the problem was a whole bunch of abscesses have grown in my abdomen due to an infection during my c-section. Although I am well now, I think I will always remember June 13, the morning of, the route we took to the hospital, the time spent in the ER that day....

Feeling Happy Blue

Tomorrow is my baby Sarah's 1st birthday.  I have many thoughts in my mind today and honestly, feeling a little blue. I guess I can't come to terms that a year has so quickly gone by...! Still remember a year ago, I was laboring at home - in pain - but somehow managed to withstand all the contractions to get to 10cm dilation without any meds. A blink of the eye and it's a year later with Sarah in our lives.  A rough start for me as a mommy of a newborn, but alas, I was able to spend quality time with Sarah before I went back to work.  It was the best time ever and I still miss those days the most.  Although we took tons of pictures and recorded a lot of videos of Sarah during this past year, I always feel like it's not enough and we should have taken more...she has grown so much! Is it silly of me to sometimes wish that Sarah could stay little just a tad longer? :-)

I know that I like to make myself sad by always reminiscing about the happy times in the past. But this time around, I understand that I also have so many more happy times in the future! I can't wait for Sarah to walk (steadily) so I can bring her to the beach, the zoo, Crissy Fields so she can run in the wind.  I can't wait for Sarah to learn how to talk so I can hear her say the darnest things.  I can't wait to see her grow up (slowly, I hope)...

Shared Learning Experience Part II

I'm attending Part III to my leadership workshop.  In the class, I learned that people make decisions not only based on facts, gut feeling, emotions, etc but they draw from their own personal life experiences. In this exercise, we were asked to write down important life changing moments that happened to us, what we learned from them and how it changed us.   I wrote down 3 pivotal events that happened to me so far:

1.  When: Junior Year in College. What Happened: I was the only "A" in a Poli-Sci class of 50.  I felt so proud that as an ESL speaker, from an immigrant family, with parents with no formal educational background, I was able to beat all the Caucasians out there.  Key Learning: I felt empowered and a sense of accomplishment.  I also built self-confidence and told myself that I am in NO way disadvantaged.  I can just be as good as everyone else.

2.  When: when I turned 30. What Happened:  I was married, had a house, was a Manager at work...everything in order, but I asked myself, "what was I most unhappy with in my life at that time?"  It was my teeth.  I decided to get braces and have a jaw surgery. Key Learning:  I actioned on something that bothered me, instead of just being unhappy and complaining about it.  It took me 2.5 yrs for the whole process...which was brutal at times, but the results were worth it. 

3.  When: Summer 2010. What Happened: I got really sick after delivering a baby.  Key Learning:  I am stronger than I think I was.    

Flashbacks

Lately I have been getting a lot of flashbacks of my time in the hospital.  I don't know why.  A couple of  weeks ago when I was on the plane to and from Hong Kong, I adjusted my seat to recline. That very moment reminded me of the hospital bed.  I used to recline my bed upwards to a sitting position and recline it downward to a sleeping position all day long. That was the only way I could get up and off bed because I had no strength to do it by myself.  Then last Thursday when I brought Sarah to the doctor's for her fevers, the smell of the hand sanitizer at the office also gave me a flashback of my hospital stay. Various doctors and nurses would come into my room everyday on the hour and the first thing they did was to use the hand sanitizer.  So I could sniff that scent a mile away!  Just this last Saturday, I sat on the sofa and looked out the window at a sunny skies.  Again, I had a sudden flashback of the time when I was in the hospital, sitting on the sofa outside the lobby on the 6th floor, gazing out the window at the blue sky...wondering how nice it would be to leave there and go home...

During that period, I didn't write/blog at all.  I wasn't in the mood to document my progress or my feelings, not to mention a good portion of my time I was physically unable to write.  I did tweet though, mainly to my family, of my progress. Here are some of the tweets:

• In hospital right now. Thanks bontee for taking care of Sarah 10:22 AM Jun 13th, 2010

• still waiting for cultures. I can't leave until I can hold my fever down for 24 hrs which has not been possible Monday, June 14, 2010 1:19:50 PM
• 3 people tried and still can't get an IV into my arm. I have skinny veins. Always a problem Monday, June 14, 2010 11:59:00 PM 
• So the lab results of the bacteria the docs thought I had turned back negative. It's something else. The question is what is it???? Tuesday, June 15, 2010 12:18:59 AM
• Finally got the IV in after the 4th try Tuesday, June 15, 2010 12:19:28 AM
• Swelling is not just limited to the feet. My entire leg is swollen Tuesday, June 15, 2010 12:20:40 AM 
• Now I have redness on my tummy. It's one thing after another... :*-( Tuesday, June 15, 2010 10:31:16 AM 
• in room 6315 Saturday, June 19, 2010 7:20:53 PM 
• CT scan shows more drainage needed on left side. Will really position tube tomorrow Monday, June 21, 2010 12:14:21 PM
• White blood cell count is climbing again, which means body is trying to fight yet another bacteria :-( Monday, June 21, 2010 12:33:05 PM
• Is it a bad sign when there is a bacteria inside me that even the Chief of Infectious diseases can't figure out what it is. Monday, June 21, 2010 1:00:35 PM
• The 7cm abscess did not drain as expect. IR will try to reposition drain tomorrow. Abscess very hard to get to. Monday, June 21, 2010 8:00:05 PM
• It's in front of a major artery vein. If IR doctor has no confidence that it's possible, then I have to do surgery again (cut me open) Monday, June 21, 2010 8:01:49 PM
• Doctor describes surgery as "morbid" and high risk. I don't know what to think anymore Monday, June 21, 2010 8:03:07 PM
• Doctors couldn't drain out the really hard abscess near the artery vein. Now they need to access whether if antibiotics can take care of it Tuesday, June 22, 2010 6:25:12 PM
• Need to wait 4days b4 next drain check.. Good progress means no fever & no high white blood cell, which means body not fighting infection. Tuesday, June 22, 2010 10:18:59 PM
• Going to IR today at 3pm. Pray that they are able to get that hard to reach abscess out. Pray pray pray!! Friday, June 25, 2010 2:50:43 PM
•  Fever still not under control. Woke up with a temp of 101.4 Saturday, June 26, 2010 9:30:42 AM
• stomach is still very tight and swollen. dr will monitor thru-out the nite to see if tummy softens. ct shows no add'l abscess. Monday, June 28, 2010 3:59:05 PM
• whte cell count is higher, body trying to fight something. fluid in the lungs. no action plans yet other than close monitor. clear diet only Monday, June 28, 2010 4:00:05 PM
• not passing gas means bowels are still irritated, causing stomach to be tight. feel more energized today from blood transfusion yesterday Monday, June 28, 2010 4:01:40 PM
• Tummy still very hard and swollen today. No gas. Never knew farting is so important. Tuesday, June 29, 2010 6:52:40 AM
• Today complete rest of bowel, cannot drink any fluid at all, will be on IV. .. on boy Wednesday, June 30, 2010 7:13:34 AM
• It's like reliving my icu days and restarting my entire recovery process all over again! Wednesday, June 30, 2010 7:15:11 AM
• may need to put another drain to clear fluid under lungs. Bowels still not moving, may need to insert tube thru nose to pull gas fr stomach Wednesday, June 30, 2010 1:02:56 PM
• Woke up with a 102.8 fever two days in a row. Takes about 3 hours to get bk to nrml temp aftr tylenol. Dunno what's causing the fevers Saturday, July 03, 2010 12:03:02 PM
• On clear liquid diet only. Juice just doesn't cut it. I'm still starving! Hunger pain is the hardest to bear Saturday, July 03, 2010 12:09:14 PM 
• I did not have a good day today. Fevers, nausea, and outright miserable. Just don't feel good. Saturday, July 03, 2010 8:44:27 PM 
• God please oh please get me out of this misery and let me feel better Sunday, July 04, 2010 12:40:02 AM
• I AM GOING HOME TODAY! Wednesday, July 07, 2010 12:04:23 PM      

When I get the random flashbacks and scenes from this dark period of my life, I realize how far I've been. Only time will eventually erase my memories. Just glad that it's all over now...  

Nostagic Childhood Candies

I am absolutely grateful that I am still in touch with my elementary school friends.  Yes, elementary school friends!! We've all met as 6 or 7 years old...and over middle school, high school, college, jobs, boyfriends, husbands, and now kids, we somehow all managed to stay in touch.  We don't see each other often, but 2-3 times a year, we try to have a get-together.  This past Saturday, we went to YW's house in Castro Valley.  Our group has grown from us 5 girls, to 10 including boyfriends and husbands, and then now to 15 including kids.  The group will only get bigger in the years to come! :-)

The wonderful host, YW, gave us each a goodie bag.  Inside the bag was an assortment of childhood candies and snacks.  Oh, it was so nice to see (not to mention eat) the candies...sure brought back a lot of childhood memories!! I remember that after school, we would go to this convenient store on Stockton & buy all sorts of candies and snacks! Here are some of the candies I remember buying and eating away... (no wonder I had such bad teeth!!) Do you recognize any of these candies?

Sour Apple Chewy Gummies - I think they sold for 5 cents each

Hot Tamales - similar to Mike & Ike. I think they sold for 10 cents??

Jaw Breakers!!!

Juicy Fruit - 25 cents for a pack of 5!

Lemon Head - they sold for 10 cents a box!

Fun Dip - 15 cents each!

Nerds - I think they sold for 25 cents each?  My favorite flavor is Watermelon!

Smarties - 5 cents each

Sugar Straws (thanks TJ for this reminder!) - sold for only 1 cent each!!

Sugar Daddy - I believe these sold for 5 cents each

      Thanks YW for taking us back memory lane...

Return to the 80's?

I could barely contain myself when I saw this at GAP the other day. Stirrups!! This is sooo 1980's! My gosh, we used to wear this with sneakers I think, maybe with leg warmers too??...definitely not with fancy heels for sure. It's bold to suggest that the stirrups should be worn like this - no skirt or longer shirt to cover up. Truth is that one MUST have a perfect butt & small hips to wear this... which is of course NOT me! Fell into that trap years ago and learned my lesson. Sorry lovely stirrups, I'm not your buyer! By the way, GAP also has skinny jeans with ankle zippers - remember those??

According to this website, here are the top 10 1980's fashion trends. Admit it, I'm sure you own a few pieces!!

• Shoulder Pads
• Mini Skirts
  
• Leg Warmers
• Big Earrings
• Fingerless Gloves
• Parachute Pants a la MC Hammer pants
• Members Only Jackets
• Units (oh yeah!)
  
• Stirrup pants
  
• Oversized tops
  

I also remember these, especially during the middle school years: Keds shoes, Ciao denim bags, Patagonia jackets, hmm...what else? what else?