Low Maintenance

When some of my coworkers found out that I will finally be getting a laptop for work or that I will be finally going to New York on business, they got more excited than I did. I told them that I'm very low maintenance and I don't care for these kinds of "perks." While most people try to acquire as many "perks" the company can offer, those things don't matter much to me. Some of the perks include:

A laptop-- this is basically given to anyone who travels. Others use a desktop. Laptops are considered a perk because you can now use the laptop for personal use, such as what I'm doing now. Got a wi-fi so I'm sitting comfortably on my bed typing this entry, and browsing the web at the same time. Half of the time, it's more convenience than anything. You can bring work home (not that you really want to, but it's an option) instead of staying late in the office. It can connect to the network so all your shared files can be accessible from home.

A "Spy" phone -- a phone with Caller ID. Apparently, this is hot commodity in our company. Only certain individuals were blessed to have a spy phone, which does great things because you can see who's calling you ahead of time. This allows you to screen calls.

An "Aeron" chair -- these are the best ergonomic chairs in the market, which costs roughly about $1000 a piece. You can probably get some used ones for about $600. But these chairs are created with the best and innovative technology out there, allowing you to adjust almost every part of the chair thus making the chair customized to your body. The seat is made out of nylon (or some special material) and airs out any body heat that might have generated after, emm, 8 hours of sitting. Again, only certain privileged individuals were able to get these chairs because they are so expensive. Unless you have a medical disability or you are top management, chances are, you won't get one.

Travel -- this is perhaps the most sought after perk in the company. It's really an awesome deal. People get to travel to Europe, Asia, Australia, anywhere -- all expenses paid. From tickets, meals, lodging -- yep, even that latte you got in the morning-- all paid. Yes, you have to meet with vendors or check your emails at night, but the benefits are obvious. A lot of people tack on a few days after the trip for a personal vacation. They have to pay for the few extra hotel nights out of pocket for personal travel, but you've got your return ticket paid already, so why not? The best part is that you get to keep your miles, most of them will be doubled because you'll be flying on business class.

So, of the 4 things listed above, I used to have only 1 -- the aeron chair. I acquired it when a coworker of mine left the company and gave it to me. So, it's not like the company bought it specifically for me. Not until last week, I acquired 2 more of the so-called perks -- a laptop and travel. Although my travel is short-- only to New York for 3 days, I still consider it an all-expensed paid perk. I never asked for any of these things. I am low maintenance. The company should be glad to have hired me. I never ask for much. Salary, on the other hand, is another issue...and another blog.

Inspirations

After a few minor distractions, I have finally finished reading Hillary Clinton's book, "Living History." It’s basically a recollection of events that happened in her life from birth to the win for the U.S. Senate seat in 2000. I loved the style of writing and choice of words throughout the book, although there had been much spectaculation that the novel was not written by Hillary herself. The only disappointment from the book was the lack of personal feelings and thoughts on emotional events as the betrayl of her husband or the moving day of Chelsea to Stanford. I looked forward to reading what was in her mind during those times. There were a few sentences here and there, but never in full details. She's only human, so I am assuming that she must have been very emotional. But I guess she has to remain a strong woman (at least on the surface), so she did not portray any signs of weakness in the novel. Nevertheless, one of my memorable quotes from the book is, "When you fall off the cliff, you will face one of two possible outcomes -- either you land on solid ground or you learn how to fly." A very inspirational quote -- a very good example symbolizing how we should never let a problem take us down. So needless to say, I was very glad to see that one of the two possible outcomes was NOT breaking your leg or falling flat on your face. We should never let that happen to us, literally and symbolically.

Speaking about inspiration, I finished watching the movie "Seabisuit" over the weekend. I approached the movie with little expectations, thinking that it will just be one of the stories about horse racing. However, after I finished the movie, I fell in love with it. The storyline was touching and inspiring. The entire plot lies behind the notion that we all may have some imperfections, however, if given the right opportunity, we can still shine through! Even when all odds are against us, it just takes a little determination and a little hope to give us the power! Yep, yep, very inspiring and a very powerful movie! Definitely would recommend this movie to anyone who needs a little boost in life. It surely made my day and I'm sure it will make yours too!!

Remembering my college days

The recent warm weather and sunshine remind me very much of my long-gone college days, when I used to hang around campus in a big grassy area known as the Quad. During those hot and long summer-like days, most students like to lie on the Quad for a short nap under the shades of a tree with a book over their face. Others just like to gather around with friends, group studying or pure gossiping. I love to sip into an ice-cold drink and people-watch. Everyone is in their tees and shorts, sandals and all...all relaxed-fit. Everyone seems to be very happy. Life was so lazy and casual back then. Everything went and everything just goes. I love my college days -- enough to really miss them. I think whenever we become nostaglic about the past, we tend to only think of the good memories. Even the bad things that happen suddenly transform to laughter and become bitter-sweet. All I remember about my college days were good memories.

My younger sister is graduating from my Alma Mater this June and I will surely take a trip up there to see her graduation ceremony. True, the ceremony will probably be so artificial and boring, but I think it will be a good reason for me to go up there to see all the changes to the campus. I heard that they remodel a lot of the older buildings, including my favorite Memorial Union, where the Coffee House resided. They also built a brand-new Performing Arts building. Changes are mostly good, but I just hope that the grass on the Quad is still there -- so future students can still enjoy what I enjoyed during my 4 years there!

Depression

Haven't been in a good mood lately. A combination of things -- primarily involving work, since it constitutes 65% of my normal awake time. I didn't have high expectations, but seeing the small dollar figure actually on paper was still just as disappointing. My coworker seems to be quite pleased with his payout. It's not that he exceeded his sales plans and earned a hefty bonus -- it's because he is new to the position and this was his first year to receive a bonus of any kind. I guess this is a classic example of the matter of perspective. Since I've got a taste of a handsome payout in the past, it's hard to go back to the bare minimum. My bonus payout was 1/2 of what I received last year. I guess I should be grateful for receiving at least something. But you know that people are never satisfied... and I'm one of them.

On another note, I am depressed to learn that a lot of people in our company are leaving. First, some of my closest coworkers have relocated to other places. Second, people are resigning left and right -- moving onto greener pastures I guess. Although I do not know these people on a personal level, it's very unmotivating to hear about resignations everyday. It almost feels like everyone is trying to jump off a sinking boat, and I am the only one left behind. (In case you're wondering, I have been trying to jump out myself, but results have been unsuccessful and difficult.) And just today, I have yet to hear another person abandoning me. This time, it's my own boss!! He's not "leaving" the company per se, but leaving the department. He got reassigned to other department Needless to say, I am very very sad...

It's really quiet here today, which is nice. A lot of people have either took today off as vacation or away from the office on market. I love being not bothered by micro managers who love to butt into every little business of mine. I love being able to take a 15min break from it all and blog. I love the quietness of the office. Unfortunately, the quietness does have its bad turns though. Suddenly, people's conversations get magnified 10 times. I try to zone out and not eavesdrop, but it's hard when the conversation is accompanied by loud laughs and lasts for over an hour. It gets annoying. It gets MORE annoying when they are talking in a dialect that I don't understand. Then the words just become pure noise....

Baby Stuff

I have been so busy at work that I no longer have free time to blog anymore. It's sad that I don't even take my daily walks around downtown during lunch time anymore. It's also really sad that I no longer enjoy relaxed-Fridays. Since the beginning of the year, I have been just slammed with projects and emails in all directions.

Anyways, on to other things -- I have found a new hobby in crocheting. I learned how to crochet in college -- each of us crocheted a little squares so we can combine them and make them into big blankets for donation to local children hospitals. Now, I decided to pick up the hobby again. So, I searched the web, and there, in a matter of seconds, I found the crochet pattern for baby booties. It took me a while to re-learn basic stitches, but in no time, I began crocheting baby booties. I made a pair for my future nephew who is due in May. I also made a pair of matching mitts. Crocheting definitely takes the stress out of my normal workday. And upon searching for crochet patterns, I discovered that there are organizations out there who receive donations of baby booties, mitts and baby afghans. They are really meant for preemies, or premature babies, who spend long days at the hospital before release. It seemed like an excellent idea. So here I am, determined to crochet a nice baby afghan to donate to an unfortunate preemie. I haven't started yet, but I will make it a priority for this year.

Speaking about babies, I stumbled across a baby catalog the other day. I just realized how lucrative the baby product industry is nowadays. The catalog displayed all sorts of unimaginable products -- from diaper genies to baby monitors to baby bjorns. Boy, I never realized that these products were even invented. What happened to the good old cloth diapers and the Chinese little red cloth to carry the baby in your back? Seems like the new products are just banking on old ideas but with an added twist -- or so they claim as "safer" and more "ergo." Whatever.

Happy Chinese New Year!!

Post Script

After you finish reading Da Vinci Code , you can enjoy a little secret-uncovering yourself by going through an online game Da Vinci Code . My co-worker who had also read the book showed it to me, and we ended up spending all our 'dead-time' in between work hours figuring out the puzzles. It was fun and challenging. I must admit that I cheated sometimes and went to the web for clues and hints. The last question is the hardest of them all, but that's because I have no prior knowledge in Latin. So go read and go play! Alright, alright. Enough endorsements here.

So I had my annual job performance review with my boss at 4pm. He was a lot nicer to me than I was to myself. My rating came in higher than what I had graded myself on my self-evaluation. Good. I guess it's always better to expect less and then end up more than the other way around. During the review, I expressed some of my frustrations with this position in areas where I felt very constrained. I hope I didn't sound so negative that made him sense my plan of leaving the company soon. There had been rumors flying back and forth that we will be laid off in August. So far, previous rumors had all proven correct. There is high possibility that this rumor could come true as well. Laid off or not, I want to leave because I'm not too happy with the position that I'm in and the people I need to please. No offense to my boss, of course. He's great -- just the fact that everyone else isn't.

One of my first friends I met at work left today. She is relocating and embarking on her new journey to Hawaii. Wish her the best of luck and I hope to see her again soon. Well, at least now I can maybe bum off housing whenever I travel to Hawaii. Yes, that would be nice.

Wow. An entire week and a half has zoomed by since I last blogged. I am glad to have realized that Chinese New Year is only a week away. This coming year, being the year of the monkey, I shall be more active. I will try to do my outdoorsy activities. So, Yes, that shall be my CNY resolution. I will post with updates. Good, discipline and monitoring. That's what I need.

I finished Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code in 2 days. It is by far one of my favorite novels since the first book of Harry Potter. Definitely a page-turner and a cut-for-a-movie-type of novel. Very well written that leaves the reader on the edge wanting to read more. I found the ending a little disappointed, but overall, still a very good book. Would not want to give the plot away, so all I would say is, "Read it!"

So I'm supposed to meet my boss today at 4pm to discuss my job performance this past year. This is the first time that I'm actually quite nervous. I don't expect a big increase in salary, but I do want one!

New Beginnings

Happy New Year, everyone! Sorry, I'm a day late, but I'm sure the cheer still works. Had a very quiet but joyful evening night on the Eve. We did the normal countdown with the TV and enjoyed a bottle of champagne. It was nice. Have no regrets spending the night indoors and away from crowds and traffic.

Reflecting 2003 -- it has been a rather eventful year. With due justice, the year can be simply summarized to 1 single word, "WEDDINGS." 2003, by far, was the year of weddings. I attended 6 weddings this past year, not including my own. And of course, there were more that I know about but was fortunately, not invited to.

Forecasting 2004 -- as 2003 have been dominated by weddings, I have a good feeling that 2004 will also be dominated by 1 single word, " BABIES." I personally am aware of at least 4-5 babies due this year. All of the "known" babies are due in Spring. And of course, more news yet to be revealed, I'm sure.

Again, cheers to everyone, and may 2004 bring to you all goodness and whatever you wish for...

Last Friday, my husband and I went to see "A Christmas Carol," a play currently showing at Geary Theater in San Francisco. We got a pair of free Orchestra seat tickets that would have costed us $68 a pop. This is not the first time we got free tickets to a live show. Last year, we went to see the "Nutcracker" for free too. I guess we got lucky both times. The original purchasers couldn't make it to the show, so they'd rather give the tickets away than to waste them. So there we were, last minute, watching a show for free. This only means that we are always available to be the backup for any shows out there. If you have any, just let them come our way!

Speaking of luck, I guess we also lucked out on the massive blackout that occurred this past Saturday night. On the busiest shopping day of the season, the power went out. Retailers and shoppers alike were disappointed. Just imagine movie goers watching the movie finale, or people stuck on elevators. How terrible would that be. It only shows how dependent we are on power. Fortunately, our little old house was not affected at all. Our Christmas lights remained lit in the midst of total darkness. Oh, how pretty.

The paths we took...

Wanwanha, wish I could say I've gone as far as you did. But unfortunately I can't. I just keep running around in circles.

Reunion

My 10-year high school reunion is only a few weeks away. Just out of curiosity, I looked through the Evite invitation that has been circulating around. 140+ people are planning to attend the event, along with their spouses and significant others. After browsing the "YES" list of names, it was sad that I was able to only recognize a handful of names. Some I recognized the name, but couldn't recall the face. Some I had no clue that they even attended the school, let alone in the same class! Some people on the "NO" list who couldn't make it to the event managed to drop a note of their recent being -- names of cities, countries of residency, names of spouses, children, profession, etc. It's quite interesting to read about where people have spread to and how their lives have changed. 10 years (from 18yrs old to 28)-- not a extremely long time, but definitely an important time in our lives. The paths we took, the decisions we made, whom we met, what has become of us -- really depended on these 10 years. Looking back at my past 10 years -- wow. I've really gone a long way.

Dreadful Christmas?

When I go around town, there are clear indications that the holidays are near. From the fully decorated store fronts to shoppers with their bags, to the Christmas carols and holiday lights... the holidays are HERE. For the past few years, Christmas didn't give me a sense of excitement as it once did. Sad to say, this year, I'm not looking forward to Christmas either. What happened? Has the "Grinch" inside of me suddenly surfacing? To me, Christmas merely represents increased traffic, the crowded malls and parking lots, the endless search for the perfect gift, and of course, the dreadful credit card bill. It's no longer the happy, go-lucky type of event anymore. Will anything change me? Can anything change me? I want to enjoy Christmas again.... I want to get excited about the holidays again...

This is my first time ever blogging at home, let alone on a Saturday. I have a feeling that the weekends might be the only times I can blog from now on. My assistant has left me for another better paying job (which I don't blame her for doing so), and senior management has yet to confirm if they will ever find me a replacement. Meanwhile, her workload has suddenly shifted onto my lap. Her responsibilities consist mostly of the not-so-likable grunt work -- so I find myself yesterday on a Friday afternoon -- formatting Excel spreadsheets and running reports. It was definitely not fun.

Holidays

Thanksgiving is a always viewed as a "second" to Christmas. The holiday is always tucked behind the back burner and shadowed by Christmas. Everyone just use Thanksgiving as a gauge on how the economy is doing. The news said that retailers took in $12.4 billion in sales on just Friday and Saturday. The first two days is a 6% increase over last year... however, selling on these 2 days don't mean a merry christmas all the way. The discounts helped fuel the good sales. It's the regular selling holiday season that will determine a good or bad year. We contributed to the $12.4 billion by buying a Christmas tree early this year. We finally picked out our first, fresh-cut Douglas Fir at Home Depot. It's exciting to decorate the tree and dress it with lights, ornaments, garland, etc while listening to a medley of Christmas carols. So, ok, it's only November, but with Christmas only 24 days away, we needed to maximize window display time....

So we are also in the midst of writing our annual reviews. After spending nearly 3 hours writing my 5-page merit review, I suddenly had a flashback of my college years. My review felt so much like my Poli-sci papers -- lots of fancy words, but no substance. I had very little to show and to prove that I did my job well this year. Most of the sales forecasting and numbers (as we call them) were given to me. Even if I had to spend hours analyzing data to come up with my stance of how sales would turn out, the numbers would be eventually edited and revised. Regardless of how the business did for the month, I had very little ownership of its success or failure. Therefore, given these circumstances, I was reluctant to honestly take any credit. I know that I didn't do well so I'm not too hopeful on how much raise I will be getting next year. I just know that it's a matter of time before I find another route to escape.

Jobs & Love

Can I take an unofficial random poll -- anyone out there truly happy with their jobs? The more I talk to people, the more I realize that everyone has something negative to say about their jobs. They don't like it to a certain degree, just depending on how much... and what actions they are willing to take to DO something about it. Even the news reported that 8 out of 10 people are holding onto their jobs, but anxiously waiting for the next opportunity to change jobs. I guess I would be in that group of 8 if I was in that poll. I guess I'm going through another phase of frustration at my workplace that I begin to question why I am still here? Why can't I be strong enough to do something about it?

There are two job situations out there:
(1) You hate your job and what you do, but you get paid well enough so you hold onto your job for the money
(2) You love your job and what you do, but you get paid close to nothing so you hold onto your job because you love it

Why is so hard to find the combination of the two -- you love your job and you get paid well!! I guess I still haven't found that opportunity yet.

Read though Hung Mao's recent post about love & marriage. Being only married for 2 months, of course, I'm no expert on this topic. However, I have always wonder that same question -- when you eventually become so "accustomed" to your spouse, are you two together just for companionship? What happens when you lose that lovin' feeling?

Relocation

With some of my ex-team members relocating to other parts of the world, the topic of relocation has once again resurfaced. In my mind, I keep on telling myself that their move is only temporary... give it 1-2 years, and they will be back. They can say that they gained the international experience and move back to the States. However, I am sad to learn that some of them actually consider this move rather permanent. They will start their new lives there -- work, settle in, perhaps even buying a house there, etc. I wonder if I would ever move out of the Bay Area and start a new life somewhere else. Will I ever be faced with that kind of decision? I applaud those people who can just pack up and go, not knowing when they will ever come back. Actually, it's amazing that in America, our people can move to anywhere without the fear of government control. In most other countries, where you born and grow up is the same place you will live and die. But here, we have that option. I wonder if I should make myself move to another place just to try it out... who knows, maybe I will like that place so much and never want to come back...

My mind and heart have been really restless this week with all the news and changes going on. I hope this weekend I will manage to forget everything and enjoy the much needed days off.

The dreadful email

So today is another dreadful day at my company. I come to work early in the morning to find an email in my inbox flagged of High Importance. There was a mandatory meeting at 9:30, and that this meeting would take precedence over all others. It was definitely one of those emails everyone dread to receive. During the meeting, it was announced that some of the corporate functions located here will be, once again, relocated to another part of the world. The team that was let go was one that I was most close with, one that I was friends with, and one that I once belonged in. A handful of people were offered relocation opportunities, but majority of them would be let go by March 2004. This really hits home!! I am truly saddened and disturbed by the news. I can't seem to get my head straight and my mind focused.

In this world full of ambiguity, I can't help but wonder if we should all live each day by the day. Being raised in an Asian family, I was taught to prepare for the future, to be forward-looking. But things change so fast that all those morals seem meaningless. So you spend zillions of hours to improve business, to plan, to look for opportunities in the future, but yet, all in one day -- all on one dreadful email, your work can become meaningless. Again, it's depressing and disturbing.

Some of the people I know took today off of work so they can enjoy a nice four-day weekend in conjunction with Veterans' Day off tomorrow. For those unfortunate souls like me who had to work on both days, I feel for you 'cuz I'm in the same boat!

Trying to remember what exactly I did this weekend. It seems like every weekend is a big blur to me now... maybe because my weekends are always filled with little things. A whole bunch of little things, and no big things. So I finally finished up my Thank you cards that I have been procrastinated to do. Learned my lesson first hand that it's very hard to hand-write each one in calligraphy! Should have stopped at just addressing the envelopes. Never mind. Everyone enjoyed the cards, so I'm glad my efforts and thoughts I put into the cards are appreciated.